“Hey there guys! Gwen and Ari here-”
“And Phyllis.” said Gwen, plucking him off her lap and cupping him in her hands.
Ari sighed. “And Phyllis. Just a little note to let you know we’re still alive-”
“I’m not.”
“Are you planning on interrupting everything I-”
“Yes.” Gwen smirked a little and stroked Phyllis’ shell.
“You are extremely annoying sometimes, you know-”
“Silly Ari. I’m not annoying. I’m what we in the business call being a professional smart-arse.”
“What business?”
“The business of being a smart-arse.”
Ari blinked at her. This blink had many meanings, including:
· “What on earth are you on about now?”
· “Do I really want to know what on earth you’re on about now?”
· “Please shut up before I eat your face.”
“Anyway. We are still here, and hopefully our story will be updated shortly-”
“Honestly Ari, if you’re going to break the Fourth Wall do it right. They’re human beings, not monkeys with impeccable manners. Although,” she said, smirking again “I have my doubts about some of them.”
“Behave!”
“I’m just joking. Sheesh! Stop being such a cat in a box.”
“A cat…in a box?”
“Y’know, like Schrödinger’s cat.”
Ari blinked again. This blink had much the same reason as the first.
“I think you’ll find the phrase is ‘stick in the mud’.”
“But what is a stick doing in the mud? A cat in a box is much more likely. Cats go jumping around into any old box, but sticks don’t jump into mud. It can’t – it’s a stick; it doesn’t have legs.”
Another blink.
“Anyway, as soon as Gwen’s author is available to write more she will.”
“It’s not that she’s not available; she’s just lazy. And every time she tries to write you end up sounding really grumpy.” Gwen shoved her face really close to Ari’s. “Are you grumpy?”
“No!”
“You so are!”
“I’m not!”
“Yes you are.”
“I’m not!”
“See? Grumpy.” Gwen smirked. Ari sighed.
“I think I’ll wrap this up before something explodes.”
“Oooh!” Gwen clapped her hands. “Explosives! That’s not a bad idea actually. Just wait there a minute; I’m sure I’ve got some Filibuster Fireworks somewhere around here…” She sprinted off.
“Uh-oh. You’d better get out of here before some serious damage is caused. I’ll try and talk her out of it. Just remember; if the story isn’t updated yet, she gives you full permission to eat something or someone she loves.” Ari stood up and glanced around nervously. “I’d better go. Urm…thanks!”
And with that she sprinted off after her friend, squealing “Don’t do it Gwen! Don’t do it!” at the top of her voice.
